Seeing the bright side of things.

Today I felt overwhelmed with love in my heart. I'd like to say I feel that way every moment of everyday, but what can I say (not trying to rhyme here!) it doesn't always happen. I feel every other emotion that all other humans feel and try to embrace it. I don't think feelings should be bottled up. In fact, a period of my life I've struggled with passive aggressiveness, and just being in the moment is the best way to overcome that. Don't try to HIDE it. You can always say how you feel with tact and kindness. But that's another subject!

It could have been the Chinese meds I'm taking for this cold, (sure... NEW, organic alcohol...) but I don't think so. I think it's because I have so damn much to be grateful for. Sometime it's overshadowed by work, or being busied with laundry or taking care of my puggies. Sometimes it's busied with cleaning my floors or cooking for my hubby. But, when I had a chance to just breathe - there it was - staring me in the face - gratitude.

For the most part, all of our family members are in good shape, which I'm extremely appreciative of. However, Shad's Granny has been diagnosed with a disease, which will rob her of her eyesight within the next year. She's in her late 70's, and I assume this is most devastating to endure, having been a healthy, mostly independent, attractive woman all her life.

It got me to thinking the other day while I was driving - I hope she saw everything she wanted to see. As silly as it sounds, I then thought of Marley and Me, when he lets Marley run freely into the ocean waters, and asks if he's done everything he's wanted to do...

I feel like crying for her. But I know it won't help. I feel like crying for myself because I just feel bad for her, but that's stupid. She's the one that has to accept this state and move on with her life. But I know that's easier said than done. I know, because that's been a fear of mine since I was little. I used to ask my eye doctor if I'd go blind, and he reassured me that I had to have a disease... that didn't just 'happen.' Apparently this disease doesn't prey on poor sight victims, to be exact. It hits up the most healthy of human beings, mostly coming into old age.

Life isn't about just looking though, it's about seeing what's in front of you. It's not about just listening, it's about gaining knowledge by hearing. And it's not about just talking, it's about communicating. Life is complex. It's bittersweet. Lessons are often embedded in pain. But mostly it's just wonderful, precious, and beautiful. I don't want to waste a single second of it, and I hope you don't either. It may seem really long sometimes, especially with the decisions we make. But it's pretty damn short too.

When we were little, the world seemed so big that our homes were continuously exploratory. When we became teenagers, so much as a blemish or bad boyfriend experience made us want to dye our hair black, pierce something, & die. And now that we're in our 30's, we know that there's so much more to do.... we just hope we have time to do it all. If we're smart, we'll spend a little less time on looking for wrinkles, and a little more time earning them.