New friends, old friends - it's complicated.

Today I met with an old friend. We used to be best friends, but I haven't seen her since she moved about 5 years ago. We sort of became disconnected a while before that though, and therefore distanced - both emotionally & physically. But reconnecting with her today proved to me a couple things. One - you can't force chemistry, and two - friends should be appreciated for who they are, period.

Like any relationship, people are people and people make mistakes. I think I'm a bit scarred from previous relationships & have been able to let go of people quite easily because of that. In the past, I've put up blocks to keep a safe distance from 'new friends' so that I won't be disappointed when they let me down. Or I let them down (?). It's a defense mechanism, and I'm working on it. It's not something I'm proud of, and consequently, I probably spend a lot of time alone because of it! Thank God I like to work. :) And write!

I'm not feeling sorry for myself, regardless of how this may sound, I'm just trying to make sense out of a complicated, complex song & dance. And to the contrary, I'm feeling really wonderful about my friends right now - both old and new. :)

When I met with my old friend today we laughed... and laughed... she just "gets me." And that may sound cheesy or whatever, but it's TRUE. How many people can look at one another and know what's up? Honestly. It's like an old shoe - it just fits.

And being around so many of my dear friends lately, I've also come to another conclusion - I'm damn lucky. Really lucky. Lucky to have them, lucky to spend time with them, and better for knowing them.