Family

Perhaps it's the time of year. Perhaps it's my age. Perhaps it's my career. Perhaps it's an awakening. Perhaps it's just hormones. Perhaps it's just too damn much love in my heart. Or perhaps I was inspired by watching The Natives series (so great, btw).

But I've been thinking a lot about family lately, and what that means to me.

I've never wanted children. In fact, it was one of the first things I told my husband when we first met. The thought of being responsible for another human all my life was/is scary. I put everything I have into my relationship with my husband, (well, pugs, too!) and my career. My cup is pretty full now. But the question is: Will it still be full later, if I don't have a child/children?

Someone once told me that they thought that was our only purpose of our existence  - to have kids. I thought that was insane, and that was a shallow perspective. I suppose it's because I think happiness, love, and fulfillment can be found all around us, all the time, if we look. But I do respect that perspective.

One of my main concerns has always been the business I've chosen. Without the risk of sounding whiny, because that's not my intention, I'll still say it - it's a tough business for a woman. Mostly 'cause it's mainly MEN. But that aside, it's just flat out time consuming. Way more time consuming than any other job I can think of (and I've had a few!). You have to saturate yourself in it if you want to succeed. 

So, I tried to think of examples of people who've done it successfully - had it all, and I came up with a few... for one, my wonderful producer, Lorie, has a beautiful 2 (going on 3?) year old and does a great job of shifting back and forth. And two and three are some of my other role models - Nora Ephron and Nancy Meyers (writer-directors). They're brilliant at what they do, and they each have 2 children!! So, it must be possible... right?

I remember a good filmmaker friend of mine asking me a couple of years back - "how do film people do it.. have careers and families... they do it, don't they?" And honestly, I couldn't say YES. I thought that if we had kids in our 30's we were doomed in the biz. But then I found my producer... and now...?

Well, now I'm beginning to see how it can maybe be done. But I'm not there yet. We're all different, regardless of my 'examples', and all handle stress, work, and family differently. When I think of 40, I still picture myself being "busy." Maybe busy just changes with regard to how I'm 'being busied.' But at least I know that there's hope... if that's a direction I choose to take - I will look at these wonderful ladies and know that I don't have an excuse.

After all, whoever your family is, family is everything. And families are inspiring (I know mine are!). That's good for any business. :)