Family

Perhaps it's the time of year. Perhaps it's my age. Perhaps it's my career. Perhaps it's an awakening. Perhaps it's just hormones. Perhaps it's just too damn much love in my heart. Or perhaps I was inspired by watching The Natives series (so great, btw).

But I've been thinking a lot about family lately, and what that means to me.

I've never wanted children. In fact, it was one of the first things I told my husband when we first met. The thought of being responsible for another human all my life was/is scary. I put everything I have into my relationship with my husband, (well, pugs, too!) and my career. My cup is pretty full now. But the question is: Will it still be full later, if I don't have a child/children?

Someone once told me that they thought that was our only purpose of our existence  - to have kids. I thought that was insane, and that was a shallow perspective. I suppose it's because I think happiness, love, and fulfillment can be found all around us, all the time, if we look. But I do respect that perspective.

One of my main concerns has always been the business I've chosen. Without the risk of sounding whiny, because that's not my intention, I'll still say it - it's a tough business for a woman. Mostly 'cause it's mainly MEN. But that aside, it's just flat out time consuming. Way more time consuming than any other job I can think of (and I've had a few!). You have to saturate yourself in it if you want to succeed. 

So, I tried to think of examples of people who've done it successfully - had it all, and I came up with a few... for one, my wonderful producer, Lorie, has a beautiful 2 (going on 3?) year old and does a great job of shifting back and forth. And two and three are some of my other role models - Nora Ephron and Nancy Meyers (writer-directors). They're brilliant at what they do, and they each have 2 children!! So, it must be possible... right?

I remember a good filmmaker friend of mine asking me a couple of years back - "how do film people do it.. have careers and families... they do it, don't they?" And honestly, I couldn't say YES. I thought that if we had kids in our 30's we were doomed in the biz. But then I found my producer... and now...?

Well, now I'm beginning to see how it can maybe be done. But I'm not there yet. We're all different, regardless of my 'examples', and all handle stress, work, and family differently. When I think of 40, I still picture myself being "busy." Maybe busy just changes with regard to how I'm 'being busied.' But at least I know that there's hope... if that's a direction I choose to take - I will look at these wonderful ladies and know that I don't have an excuse.

After all, whoever your family is, family is everything. And families are inspiring (I know mine are!). That's good for any business. :)

Nora Ephron

I haven't watched Julie and Julia yet, and don't know if I would if it weren't written/directed by the oh-so-brilliant, academy award winning and long time author, Nora Ephron. She is one of my biggest role models for many reasons. Not because she has any crazy-different style I'm after, but because she has the ability to connect with her audience and make it feel effortless. She understands that the magic is found in moments that are so beautiful you get lost... and it doesn't matter anymore if they're real. She's one of the best 'natural dialog' writers I've ever known (well, not personally - but maybe one day!) making conversations flow organically, and she's also a strong female director who's respected in the film business, which is profoundly admirable. Some of her films include: When Harry Met Sally, You've Got Mail, and Sleepless In Seattle - yes, all the romantic comedies others aspire to emulate. She understands chemistry, how to put people together and give them a space that's conducive to creativity. And she's extreeeeeemly passionate about her work. Listen to her in any interview, and you'll know it. She's a true class act.

Jentri

So many of the conscious and unconscious ways men and women treat each other have to do with romantic and sexual fantasies that are deeply ingrained, not just in society but in literature. The women's movement may manage to clean up the mess in society, but I don't know if it can ever clean up the mess in our minds. - Nora Ephron