Love on the Ridge

it ain't easy being cheesy...

Humanizing swords

Just realized I haven't written about whatever the hell I want to in a while - so here I am! ;)

The last month's been crazy. Through some tough emotional (work-related) stuff, I've been reminded of how much I appreciate the people that mean the most to me - and why.

Sometimes, we let our ego's care about other people's perceptions of us. And that's never a winning situation. So I asked myself one question:

Why would I be mad or sad if someone said something about me that wasn't true?

Can you imagine how celebrities must feel? Sure, they've got glamour and money, but I think we forget they're humans, too.

Recently, we had to let someone go on a project, (for a logical, valid reason) and that person questioned my loyalty and character. I had to stop the (email) conversation right there. I couldn't/wouldn't respond to that. It felt too much like blindly throwing sharp objects without knowing even knowing what was being aimed at (besides my head!).

Does this person not understand this is a business decision and not a friendship decision? Would this person have acted this way, or said these things to someone else, whom they maybe respected more?

Truth is, I don't really know this person that well.

This is the conclusion I've come to though. If someone doesn't really know you, they can let their mind run wild with false perceptions of who you are. And let's be honest, it's much easier to throw swords that way, instead of just taking responsibility for your own actions. But there's good news (hidden in) here.

I know who I am.

I'm a sister, daughter, wife, aunt, and lover of all sweet life... a human being, though never perfect, that has some friends other people would die for. I've been married for over 10 years in a loyal relationship to a strange, loving human being. When I give a compliment I mean it. And when I send out loving thoughts, they're sincere.

People are not one dimensional. And just because you see something one way, doesn't mean it's the right way.

People are colorful, and complicated.

But, when someone's on fire, sometimes you have to surrender to "it's better to be kind than right."

Their fight is not your fight. Their feelings are not your feelings. Let them work it out.

I say this because we all are complex beings. We all have baggage and pockets full of surprises. But if we're smart, we learn to deal with it, put it aside, and don't let it dictate how we run our lives.

It's so easy to judge, laugh, criticize or even love strangers from a distance, when they haven't been humanized, isn't it?

Every once in a while, I get frustrated in traffic, too. But then I close my eyes (while I'm stopped of course!) and imagine if the person driving the car were my dad or mom.. and it changes everything.

As Dr. Dyer says, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

I see this (above) message as a way of honoring our bodies and minds. Choosing peace, and as a consequence - freeing our minds from clutter and unimportant drama. Knowing we all have a choice as to how we respond and handle things in our lives, even when they're not ideal.

And today, I choose to forgive that person for throwing swords, even if they choose otherwise. 'Cause the way I see it is, there are only two kinds of emotions: Love & Fear. Guess which one angry swords comes from?

Wishing you all love, laughter, light, and peace as you go into your week... stay reminded of what and who really matters... there's no greater time to give yourself the gift of love, honesty, and respect - than the present.

Jentri

Family

Perhaps it's the time of year. Perhaps it's my age. Perhaps it's my career. Perhaps it's an awakening. Perhaps it's just hormones. Perhaps it's just too damn much love in my heart. Or perhaps I was inspired by watching The Natives series (so great, btw).

But I've been thinking a lot about family lately, and what that means to me.

I've never wanted children. In fact, it was one of the first things I told my husband when we first met. The thought of being responsible for another human all my life was/is scary. I put everything I have into my relationship with my husband, (well, pugs, too!) and my career. My cup is pretty full now. But the question is: Will it still be full later, if I don't have a child/children?

Someone once told me that they thought that was our only purpose of our existence  - to have kids. I thought that was insane, and that was a shallow perspective. I suppose it's because I think happiness, love, and fulfillment can be found all around us, all the time, if we look. But I do respect that perspective.

One of my main concerns has always been the business I've chosen. Without the risk of sounding whiny, because that's not my intention, I'll still say it - it's a tough business for a woman. Mostly 'cause it's mainly MEN. But that aside, it's just flat out time consuming. Way more time consuming than any other job I can think of (and I've had a few!). You have to saturate yourself in it if you want to succeed. 

So, I tried to think of examples of people who've done it successfully - had it all, and I came up with a few... for one, my wonderful producer, Lorie, has a beautiful 2 (going on 3?) year old and does a great job of shifting back and forth. And two and three are some of my other role models - Nora Ephron and Nancy Meyers (writer-directors). They're brilliant at what they do, and they each have 2 children!! So, it must be possible... right?

I remember a good filmmaker friend of mine asking me a couple of years back - "how do film people do it.. have careers and families... they do it, don't they?" And honestly, I couldn't say YES. I thought that if we had kids in our 30's we were doomed in the biz. But then I found my producer... and now...?

Well, now I'm beginning to see how it can maybe be done. But I'm not there yet. We're all different, regardless of my 'examples', and all handle stress, work, and family differently. When I think of 40, I still picture myself being "busy." Maybe busy just changes with regard to how I'm 'being busied.' But at least I know that there's hope... if that's a direction I choose to take - I will look at these wonderful ladies and know that I don't have an excuse.

After all, whoever your family is, family is everything. And families are inspiring (I know mine are!). That's good for any business. :)