Family

Perhaps it's the time of year. Perhaps it's my age. Perhaps it's my career. Perhaps it's an awakening. Perhaps it's just hormones. Perhaps it's just too damn much love in my heart. Or perhaps I was inspired by watching The Natives series (so great, btw).

But I've been thinking a lot about family lately, and what that means to me.

I've never wanted children. In fact, it was one of the first things I told my husband when we first met. The thought of being responsible for another human all my life was/is scary. I put everything I have into my relationship with my husband, (well, pugs, too!) and my career. My cup is pretty full now. But the question is: Will it still be full later, if I don't have a child/children?

Someone once told me that they thought that was our only purpose of our existence  - to have kids. I thought that was insane, and that was a shallow perspective. I suppose it's because I think happiness, love, and fulfillment can be found all around us, all the time, if we look. But I do respect that perspective.

One of my main concerns has always been the business I've chosen. Without the risk of sounding whiny, because that's not my intention, I'll still say it - it's a tough business for a woman. Mostly 'cause it's mainly MEN. But that aside, it's just flat out time consuming. Way more time consuming than any other job I can think of (and I've had a few!). You have to saturate yourself in it if you want to succeed. 

So, I tried to think of examples of people who've done it successfully - had it all, and I came up with a few... for one, my wonderful producer, Lorie, has a beautiful 2 (going on 3?) year old and does a great job of shifting back and forth. And two and three are some of my other role models - Nora Ephron and Nancy Meyers (writer-directors). They're brilliant at what they do, and they each have 2 children!! So, it must be possible... right?

I remember a good filmmaker friend of mine asking me a couple of years back - "how do film people do it.. have careers and families... they do it, don't they?" And honestly, I couldn't say YES. I thought that if we had kids in our 30's we were doomed in the biz. But then I found my producer... and now...?

Well, now I'm beginning to see how it can maybe be done. But I'm not there yet. We're all different, regardless of my 'examples', and all handle stress, work, and family differently. When I think of 40, I still picture myself being "busy." Maybe busy just changes with regard to how I'm 'being busied.' But at least I know that there's hope... if that's a direction I choose to take - I will look at these wonderful ladies and know that I don't have an excuse.

After all, whoever your family is, family is everything. And families are inspiring (I know mine are!). That's good for any business. :)

A few lil movie reviews: Funny People, The Ugly Truth, & Australia

OK, during TG you stay indoors a lot! :) So I have a few movie reviews for ya - what I did when I wasn't playing a board or card came during family time. These will be short and sweet, but hopefully serve as some insight if you're contemplating spending a couple hours (or 3!) of your life in front of the tube on one of them.

I always think it helps when you go into a movie without expectations. That is when you experience your untainted, unmotivated, true feelings about it. And this is how I went into this particular movie, Funny People, not really having heard much about it (which is usually a red flag).

Funny People: The tone of this film pleasantly surprised me. It was consistent and really well executed. It was funny, but not overt. The dialog was natural, and I enjoyed the story, also written by Apatow (Knocked Up). The reactions from the characters seemed really honest, and I was impressed at the fact that, although it wasn't just keeping me on the edge of my seat with curiosity, it never let me drift off. The chemistry was definitely there. I was invested in this little story of wanting to know what would happen to this man (Sandler) and seeing him change. It wasn't a really deep or completely unpredictable flick, but the performances were. And they didn't try too hard to be funny, which in my opinion, was what allowed it to be funny.

The Ugly Truth: I have to admit, I went into this one with a little bit of expectation, and it wasn't all good. It's one of those mass-appeal cute movies with not a lot of substance, right? My mom liked it, and Shad's dad thought it was a hoot, so I just dove in. Would it live up to its name? It was completely predictable, but it did have cute/funny moments, and overall, I give them credit for at least finding a new way to deliver the material - from mostly the perspective of the man. The actors are pretty good, and one can't help but love Gerard. Seriously, I didn't want to like him in this. But he won me over in 300, then P.S. I Love You, and it's been hard to deny him ever since. :) It's mindless entertainment, but worth a watch - once.

Australia: Ah, the epic 3 hour movie that finally came on cable so I could watch it. What can I say, it's hard to go rent anything that's 3 hours these days. Unless you get suckered into doing it in a theater (which is plenty!!) it just doesn't happen. I sometimes wonder how I watched The Sound of Music so many times when I was little, and what happened to my attention span!? Back to the movie. The first time I put it on, I only watched 15 min. and turned it off. I thought it was a serious picture, but it struck me as odd and corny - like a bad old western. There was too much smoke/fog, and far fetched scenes with wagons and kangaroos. I think the continuity problems with the introduction of Hugh Jackman's hair is when I stopped it. But I kept hearing that it was soooo good. Where was it? Where was the good? So I gave it another shot with my hubbie, and assured him it was supposed to get better, when he made ugly faces at the same things I had. Guess what, it does grow on you. And the actors are pretty great. They eventually make you forget about the distracting CGI, and cheesy narration. And the chemistry is quite wonderful between Kidman and Jackman. And the kid's performance, I must say, very impressive. There's also spectacular shots to appreciate - in an enormously beautiful kind of way. So, my advice is that if you can get through the first half (I know that's asking a lot these days) you will appreciate the last half so much more. After all, it's a Baz Luhrmann film. C'mon, who doesn't love him (Moulin Rouge)? :)

Happy movie watching!

New friends, old friends - it's complicated.

Today I met with an old friend. We used to be best friends, but I haven't seen her since she moved about 5 years ago. We sort of became disconnected a while before that though, and therefore distanced - both emotionally & physically. But reconnecting with her today proved to me a couple things. One - you can't force chemistry, and two - friends should be appreciated for who they are, period.

Like any relationship, people are people and people make mistakes. I think I'm a bit scarred from previous relationships & have been able to let go of people quite easily because of that. In the past, I've put up blocks to keep a safe distance from 'new friends' so that I won't be disappointed when they let me down. Or I let them down (?). It's a defense mechanism, and I'm working on it. It's not something I'm proud of, and consequently, I probably spend a lot of time alone because of it! Thank God I like to work. :) And write!

I'm not feeling sorry for myself, regardless of how this may sound, I'm just trying to make sense out of a complicated, complex song & dance. And to the contrary, I'm feeling really wonderful about my friends right now - both old and new. :)

When I met with my old friend today we laughed... and laughed... she just "gets me." And that may sound cheesy or whatever, but it's TRUE. How many people can look at one another and know what's up? Honestly. It's like an old shoe - it just fits.

And being around so many of my dear friends lately, I've also come to another conclusion - I'm damn lucky. Really lucky. Lucky to have them, lucky to spend time with them, and better for knowing them.