The Big Empty

Big Empty - what I try to stay away from. It's the big void in my heart when I'm not creating - writing - making a picture come to life for the screen. Sometimes it's the in between. It's the space that feels hollowed out and dark if "not in use." Pretty similar to the feeling I've had a few times in my life: 1) when we lost our dogs/house 2) when my mom moved away (temporarily) 3) when someone close to me passed. It all aches the same. Sure, they're all different circumstances, but doesn't pain feel the same, no matter what causes it? Sure, there are different levels, but when it's bad, isn't it just BAD?

So, how does one crawl out of the big empty?

The only way I know how to do it is to replace those feelings with other ones - better ones. Ones like, "This IS temporary." Or hug on my dogs and kiss their faces until they start to pull away. Or listen to music while writing a story. Simple diversions seem to help.

In this vast monstrosity we call life, what's the point of hanging on to bad images or sucky people that can damage our goods, or create more big empties inside us?

There is no point.

Let go of the things, negative images, words, ideas, and expectations... and remember the experiences, friendships, laughter, love and reason why the big empty exists to begin with.

It's there to make us better than we were (before). We are beyond the physical bodies we see. We are beyond the (many) realities perceived. We are capable of being more than we can imagine.

And when we have more questions than answers...?

"Mother Earth will not undress for us," he said.

I feel you, my friend.